pretty eyed, pirate smile

06May08

One time, I was driving North on I-5, and was stuck in traffic near Everett. It was around the time that everyone had Osama Bin Laden fever, and I was fully obsessed with funny things pertaining to that elusive cave singer.

The giant pick-up truck in front of me held a couple of beefy, corn-fed boys and bad rock and roll blared out the window. The bumper and back window were emblazoned with stickers, including one of Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes fame) peeing on the words Osama Bin Laden.

I immediately called Chad, to report this sighting. We both laughed about it, but not as hard as when I realized, two minutes into the conversation, that Chad thought I was talking about a sticker of Calvin Johnson (of K Records fame) peeing on Osama.

He was serious.

Another time, Chad sent me an email entitled Your new uniform. There was no message inside, just this link.

We had dinner with Ron Jeremy one busy Friday night at the Metropolitan Grill. There were six of us at the table and I had to sit next to Ron. Chad and I could barely look at each other throughout the meal, each of us knowing full well that we would dissolve into fits of laughter. Especially when Ron Jeremy ATE OFF MY PLATE.

It is the only time I have been at a dinner where the guest of honor discussed anal sex over appetizers, and later offered to show me his penis.

For Christmas one year, Chad gave me a beautiful, vintage bracelet, packed with intricate silver charms. One night, I slept on his couch and woke up with a miniature rickshaw indent on my face. It lasted for almost an hour.

This is an actual email I once sent Chad:

From: Kerri Harrop
Date: Wed, 21 Sep 2005 11:59:46 -0700
To: Chad Queirolo
Subject: patriotic duty

i wrote in JEFF STEICHEN for mayor yesterday when i voted.

Today is Chad’s birthday. He is almost as old as I am. I cannot imagine life without him. After the Raconteurs a couple of weeks ago, I was discussing the post-show highlights with Nikole.

“You guys really are like brother and sister,” she said to me. “It was so nice to see.”

It is so nice to have. Happy birthday, to my number one Humanzee.

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Tags: birthday, chad, drivers